Kurwa ok. roku 95 byłem w posiadaniu kasety MC " Z milicja na wesoło" ponad godzina dowcipów o milicjantach opowiadanych przez Marcina Dańca
Obrazek
A teraz kilka perełek które jeszcze pamiętam:
Dlaczego milicjańci jedzą tylko ogórki kiszone beczkowe?
Bo im się głowa do słoika nie mieści.
Ekspedientka w sklepie papierniczym do klienta.
Co podać?
Poproszę zeszyt w kółka
Słyszy to milicjant stojący za tym kolesiem
- Niech go pani nie słucha on jest jeszcze młody i głupi, niech pani mu da czysty zeszyt a kółka on sobie sam narysuje.
-A panu co podać mówi do milicjanta
- Ja poproszą globus Polski
Panie komisarzu czy możemy zagrać w brydża?
Jeżeli boisko jest wolne
Komisarz do podwładnych
- Dzisiaj o 19 idziemy do teatru na wesele Wyspiańskiego
- To może mu weźmiemy kwiaty i flachę
- Zgłupieli na przedstawienie do teatru idziemy !!!!!
- Tak, to jak tydzień temu szliśmy na Jezioro Łabędzie to po co pan brał ponton.
Obywatelu!!! Co wy tu robicie !!!!
Sikam nie widać?
Na chodniku kiedy 20 metrów dalej jest miejska toaleta !!!!
A co pan myśli, że ja mam szlauch
Dziękuję za uwagę
Twój nick dobrze ci radzi
Kolokwium będę z tego miał, a więc chciałem przykozaczyć trochę swoją wiedzą 
.
te dowcipy chyba przeszły z milicjantów na blondynki
Q: Did you hear about the Polak who thought his wife was trying to kill him?
A: On her dressing table he found a bottle of "Polish Remover".
Q: How do you sink a polish battleship?
A: Put it in water.
Q: Why did the polack put ice in his condom?
A: To keep the swelling down.
Q: What happened to the Polish hockey team?
A: They all drowned in spring training.
Q: Why don't polish women use vibrators?
A: It chips their teeth.
Q: Why did the Polak cross the road?
A: He couldn't get his dick out of the chicken.
Q: Why are there no Polish doctors?
A: Because you can't write prescriptions with spray paint.
Q: How does every Polish joke start?
A: By looking over your shoulder.
Q: Whats the difference between a smart Polak and a unicorn?
A: Nothing, they're both fictional characters
Q: Did you hear about the winner of the Polish beauty contest?
A: Me neither.
Q: Why wasn't Christ born in Poland?
A: Because they couldn't find three wisemen and a virgin.
Q: How did the Germans conquer Poland so fast?
A: They marched in backwards and the Polish thought they were leaving.
Q: How do you tell which is the Groom at a Polish wedding?
A: He's the one with the CLEAN bowling shirt.
Q: How do you stop a Polish army on horseback?
A: Turn off the carousel.
Q: What does a polish girl do after she sucks cock?
A: Spits out the feathers.
Q: How do you know if your in front of a Polish firing squad?
A: They are standing in a circle.
Q: What do you do if a Polak throws a pin at you?
A: Run like hell - he's still got a hand-grenade between his teeth.
Q: What do you do if a Polak throws a hand-grenade at you?
A: Take the pin out and throw it back.
Q: How do you know if a Polak has been using a computer?
A: There's whiteout on the screen.
Q: How do you take census in a Polish village?
A: Roll a quarter down the street, count the legs, divide by two, and subtract one for the Jew who catches it.
Q: Who wears a forest ranger's hat and carries a can of kerosene?
A: Stanislaus the Fire Prevention Bear of the Polish National Forest Service.
Q: How did the Polish mother teach her son which way to put his underwear on?
A: Yellow in the front, Brown in the back!
Q: How do you know you're flying over Poland?
A: Toilet paper hanging on the clotheslines.
Q: Why do Polish names end in "ski" ?
A: Because they can't spell tobbagan.
Q: Did you hear about the Polak who married an Amish woman?
A: He drove her buggy.
Q: Did you see the polish submarine with a screen door?
A: Dont laugh, it keeps the fish out.
Q: Do you know why the new football stadium they built in Warsaw could not be used?
A: No matter where you sat you were behind a Pole.
Q: Did you hear about the Polish Helicopter crash?
A: The pilot got cold, so he turned off the fan.
Q: Did you know that Russia just bought 12,000 Septic Tanks?
A: As soon as they learn how to drive 'em, they are going to invade Poland.
Q: What's the motto of the Poland?
A: Every man for himself.
Q: How do you get a Polak out of the bath tub?
A: Throw in a bar of soap.
Q: Why are there no ice cubes in Poland?
A: They forgot the recipe.
Q: What happens when a Polak doesn't pay his garbage bill?
A: They stop delivering.
Q: How do you ruin a Polish party?
A: Flush the punch bowl.
Q: What is long and hard that a Polish bride gets on her wedding night?
A: A new last name.
Q: What happened to the Polish National Library?
A: Someone stole the book.
Q: Why did the Polish couple decide to have only 4 children?
A: They'd read in the newspaper that one out of every five babies born in the world today is Hindu.
Q: What did the Polish mother say when her daughter announced that she was pregnant?
A: "Are you sure it's yours?"
Q: Why did the Polak sell his water skis?
A: He couldn't find a lake with a hill in it.
Q: What do Poles do with all their gold medals?
A: Go home and got them bronzed.
Did you hear in the news that a 747 recently crashed in a cemetery in Poland?
The Polish officials have so far retrieved 2000 bodies.
Did you hear about the Polish family that froze to death outside a theater?
They were waiting to see the movie "Closed for the Winter."
